Pio Pio - New York

NOTE: This post was completely written by a friend who thought it'd be a great satirical piece... on me. He did a great job however, because it seriously sounds like .. me. The only slight edits I made were the ones inside the brackets [].

Please enjoy:

"This post is dedicated to Peter, who recently turned 21 for the sixth time. Sorry for the low picture quality (I left the 10k at home) [he meant to say i left my 10lb camera at home]



Anyway, after a beautiful day playing softball, my friends and I decided to go out and celebrate Peter's birthday (for the third freakin' time). My really annoying friend always suggests we go to Pio Pio but we usually settle for Pork Chop Rice. However, since today was a special day we decided to make the trek to Jackson Heights and try some some chicken that he has been dying to eat.

We get to the restaurant and the first thing I noticed (and you will to) is that this place is FREAKIN LOUD. Some people LIKE to yell at those sitting right next to them but, it was probably just the restaurant's layout.



We proceeded to the bar where we ordered some Sangria. There were oranges, apples and a sugar cane in it. It tasted very fruity and I couldnt really taste the wine but it was a little too strong for me LOL! (I knew I had to stop when I started speaking in a British accent). While waiting at the bar, we saw a table of CLOWNS eating. SERIOUSLY, who comes to a restaurant dressed as a CLOWN? WHO DOES THAT?

My friend Wing is a Peruvian food nut (and resident food connoisseur) so he ordered for us. To start, we got the Palta Rellena, which was avocado, shrimp, red onion, tomatoes and corn marinated in a cilantro-lime dressing. It looked like something Slimer from the Ghostbusters would vomit out, but it was delicious! Not overly spicy and all the ingredients complement each other very well. I also got an Inca Kola, which is a Latino soft drink that looks like Mountain Dew but tastes like bubblegum.



IF YOUR IDEA OF GOOD CHICKEN IS KENNEDY FRIED CHICKEN OR BOSTON MARKET---then this place will make you NEVER want to eat chicken from those places again. For our main course we got the Matador Combo (I wiki'd Matador, and it means "killer" and let me say this combo really lived up to it's name LOL) which consisted of a whole chicken, rice, beans, tostones (fried plantains), salchipapa, fried bananas, and avocado salad. Since we were sharing amongst 5 people, we also added on another chicken. Let me just say that the portions are FREAKIN HUGE. I had some white and dark meat and it was delicious. Usually the white meat I get at other chicken joints is dry and card-board tasting. But here, it was so tender and juicy. I enjoyed the sides but I did not like the salchipapa which was just sliced hot dogs and fries. The birthday boy got flan for desert but I was too stuffed with pollo to try a bite. IT LOOKED GOOD THOUGH!



I really enjoyed eating at Pio Pio. You definitely need to come here with a bunch of people because of the large portions. I just wish this place was quieter for my sensitive ears. Seriously, just imagine a room of Cynthia Chungs all screaming at each other and you will get the idea of just how loud this restaurant is. Also, the bathrooms don't have signs. I walked in to the Men's room LOL. [edit: TONY YANG walked into the WOMAN'S BATHROOM, surprising 2 women who were already inside - so please be careful and look UP.] So if you ever find yourself in Jackson Heights, check this place out (Bring your earplugs)"

Taste: 4.5/5
Atmosphere: 2/5
Cost: ~$25